I remember in the 80’s and 90’s the hatred among Black men towards Black men was heightened with the cops and government perpetrating gang activity and drug use. We as a society begged our Black men to take our communities back and to start speaking out for the survival of our race.
So our brothas found hip hop. When hip hop came along and gave brothas a voice, their hate for each other started to dwindle, but it ventured into hate towards the Black woman. It seemed like the more money being passed out for record deals, the more prevalent it became to call us bitches. You couldn’t do a rap album without calling us money hungry bitches.
Oh, the saga continues. Then they started letting us on television. And how were we portrayed? We were portrayed as angry and bitter sistas who couldn’t find a man. We were portrayed as easy. Baby mamas. Ghetto. Hood rats. And even that wasn’t enough to kill our image to the black man..The media then went full fledged to show Black men that lighter and whiter was better. Then after they screwed up our Black men about us, they got us back to arguing over skin color and hair texture. And then what did we do? We embraced the word Bitch....That killed us...
So now they have the women fighting each other and got Black men saying we’re catty and that that's the reason they don't deal with us. They say that we’re argumentative and hateful. They have us re-embracing the light versus dark drama.
But now the ultimate turn comes when we (Black women) get afforded the same rights as white men, something not even white women are afforded. We are able to get loans and grants not accessible to others because we are Black women, to start businesses, purchase homes, pay for college, all without a man. Is it designed this way to lead to total separation of the Black man and Black woman? Is it a trap that the media is setting us up for? They show us as successful Black women who can’t get a man to marry us. For instance, “The Game.” Out of all the women on the show there was only one white woman among a whole bunch of sistas, and guess what, she was the only one married and guess to who, A Black man...and guess who approved of this layout of a script?...A Black woman. Wow...
Now, I'm not saying that I'm right bout all of this...These are just mere thoughts...but I'm jus' sayin'...Be not easily broken.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Is it on purpose, or just a coincidence????
Least likely to get married. More likely to have AIDS or breast cancer. Least likely to graduate college with good credit. More likely to be subject to domestic violence or drugs. Least likely to earn more than $40,000 per year. More likely to have children out of wedlock. Least likely to own a home. More likely to have an abortion due to economic challenges. With all these statistics against them, it’s no wonder the Black woman is angry. Then what about the statistics concerning the Black man? More likely to go to prison than to college. Least likely to graduate with a trade or skill. More likely to enter into a drug rehab program. Least likely to get a job to support a family or bring his family out of poverty. More likely this least likely that. Enough is enough.
Is donating money to the Boys and Girls club every year to get a tax write-off showing your support? Or how about this, building another recreational spot or sponsoring another youth sports team? Oh yeah, and let’s not forget the biggest one now. Once a year you find the time to read a book to a child. I am so proud of all of our sistas and brothas who have fought the odds, accepted help along the way, and did what they had to do to make it. But there is still work to be done, especially concerning the Black male.
People say, “Why all this talk about the Black male? The Black woman has suffered also and she has made it.” I ask, “Is that because she really tried extra hard, or is it by design?” I know I’m going to ruffle a few feathers with that one. However, I typed in “grants for Black or Minority women” in a Google search and about one hundred pages of results came back. I typed in grants for Black or Minority men and about one page of results came back.
So I ask, “is it easier for the Black woman to surpass the success of a Black man because she works hard or because the plan is to make her "not" need the Black man?” I'm not saying that it's true...but I'm jus' sayin'...Be not easily broken...
What happened to us when we got free? What happened to the things that the talented tenth promised? Did the promises get lost when the Mercedes and Expeditions became popular? Why are we losing so many Black males to violence and the justice system? And finally when are we going to finally step up to the plate to say “No More.” People are quick to say that the reason Blacks are in the situation we are currently in is because “we are lazy.” The world will look at a couple of successful Blacks and ultimately decide that the not so successful Blacks are not of the elite group because they just didn’t try hard enough. Some even feed on this stereotype and say, “I did it. I didn’t have a man in my house. I didn’t have a father. I didn’t use welfare. I didn’t commit a crime to get ahead.” I say, “well, good for you.” But what are you doing to help now?
Is donating money to the Boys and Girls club every year to get a tax write-off showing your support? Or how about this, building another recreational spot or sponsoring another youth sports team? Oh yeah, and let’s not forget the biggest one now. Once a year you find the time to read a book to a child. I am so proud of all of our sistas and brothas who have fought the odds, accepted help along the way, and did what they had to do to make it. But there is still work to be done, especially concerning the Black male.
People say, “Why all this talk about the Black male? The Black woman has suffered also and she has made it.” I ask, “Is that because she really tried extra hard, or is it by design?” I know I’m going to ruffle a few feathers with that one. However, I typed in “grants for Black or Minority women” in a Google search and about one hundred pages of results came back. I typed in grants for Black or Minority men and about one page of results came back.
So I ask, “is it easier for the Black woman to surpass the success of a Black man because she works hard or because the plan is to make her "not" need the Black man?” I'm not saying that it's true...but I'm jus' sayin'...Be not easily broken...
Where's the government when a single person needs them?
Okay, so you work all your life...well, let's say, you've worked since you were 16. Now you're 32. But since the age of 16 you've been paying into a system that is supposed to help you should you fall down on your luck...But does it and who is it really for?
We'll call her Jenny. Jenny is 24. Never worked. Has two children and is pregnant again. They get free health care across the board. She gets food stamp assistance, has a nice section 8 townhouse, gets a utility check for lights and gas, and receives financial assistance through the TANF program. She drives a 2007 Camry that Belinda who is 34, no children, no section 8, and no food benefits is paying for. Not only is she paying for Jenny, but she's paying for Mary, Tasha, Sharon, and Dionne and has been paying for them for the last 18 years. Here's the problem. Stay with me.
Belinda now has no job. Her rent is due. Her unemployment was denied because she could not report to work because she could not afford to get her car fixed which was her transport to a job that was not on the bus line. She has been seeking employment actively and aggressively for about 3 months, but since the recession, hasn't been able to find it...Not even the temp agencies can send her on an assignment. And not even McDonald's is easy to get hired with anymore. She did manage to get food stamp assistance of 200.00 per month which she hustles by buying food and selling hot dogs and hamburger plates. This money has helped her to get the part she needed for her car and neighbor Josh put the part on for free cause he understands the struggle. Now she's able to drive her car but can't pay for the insurance, so let's hope she doesn't get in front of or pass a ticket hungry tag running cop. She calls United Way and gets info for agencies that help with rental assistance, but when she gets there they tell her she has to have children under the age of 18 in the home. She goes to DFACS (dept. of family and children services) and they won't give her assistance because she doesn't have children.
Over the course of 18 years she's paid in about $18,000.00 and that's being nice with the numbers to a system that can't help her now.
Seems like finding a baby daddy is easier than finding a job. Maybe she should get pregnant and have a baby as a back up plan instead of trying to use her degrees as one.....I'm not saying that she should....but I'm jus' sayin'....Be not easily broken...
We'll call her Jenny. Jenny is 24. Never worked. Has two children and is pregnant again. They get free health care across the board. She gets food stamp assistance, has a nice section 8 townhouse, gets a utility check for lights and gas, and receives financial assistance through the TANF program. She drives a 2007 Camry that Belinda who is 34, no children, no section 8, and no food benefits is paying for. Not only is she paying for Jenny, but she's paying for Mary, Tasha, Sharon, and Dionne and has been paying for them for the last 18 years. Here's the problem. Stay with me.
Belinda now has no job. Her rent is due. Her unemployment was denied because she could not report to work because she could not afford to get her car fixed which was her transport to a job that was not on the bus line. She has been seeking employment actively and aggressively for about 3 months, but since the recession, hasn't been able to find it...Not even the temp agencies can send her on an assignment. And not even McDonald's is easy to get hired with anymore. She did manage to get food stamp assistance of 200.00 per month which she hustles by buying food and selling hot dogs and hamburger plates. This money has helped her to get the part she needed for her car and neighbor Josh put the part on for free cause he understands the struggle. Now she's able to drive her car but can't pay for the insurance, so let's hope she doesn't get in front of or pass a ticket hungry tag running cop. She calls United Way and gets info for agencies that help with rental assistance, but when she gets there they tell her she has to have children under the age of 18 in the home. She goes to DFACS (dept. of family and children services) and they won't give her assistance because she doesn't have children.
Over the course of 18 years she's paid in about $18,000.00 and that's being nice with the numbers to a system that can't help her now.
Seems like finding a baby daddy is easier than finding a job. Maybe she should get pregnant and have a baby as a back up plan instead of trying to use her degrees as one.....I'm not saying that she should....but I'm jus' sayin'....Be not easily broken...
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Deal or No Deal
This blog will step on a few toes, so I warn you, do not read if you have an issue with language or edgy content. But this is something I just had to write straight from the heart. Just recently, I was faced with a decision on what I really wanted to do with my life. Do I want to be a writer, go back to teaching, be a singer, or a songwriter? So many years I set out to have a book of 200 hundred songs and I would sing them and someone would discover me and I would be the next Mary J. Blige or Beyonce. Very recently those dreams got crushed.
I met a guy who was in close contact with a high profile record company and he was gonna put me on to one of his newly signed artists as a songwriter. So me and my cousin was negotiating the deal and things just kept coming up that left the deal in a dormant state, that is until some contract details with the artist were more clear and more detailed. In the meanwhile, I met a guy through a friend who wanted to help make sure that the songs I would be writing and possibly getting on the album were top notch. That way if the song made it we would both eat; him as a producer and me as a songwriter sharing 50/50 publishing. All of that changed the moment I was invited to his home production studio to listen to new tracks. He pulled out his dick while I was listening and singing ideas in my head to the music he was playing and said, “Everybody has to pay their dues.” I ignored him at first because I’m thinking, “this shit is not happening.” But then he put it in my face and said, “You wanna use those tracks, you gotta use your head.” I left. He then called me and I immediately sent him to voicemail and he left me a message saying, “You messed up a great opportunity. I could’ve sent your music to some other people I know who are looking for music, but since you’re not willing to do the work for it, just zero those beats I gave you.” Then as a cherry topper he said, “what one songwriter won’t do, another one will.” I was crushed.
All my dreams as a little girl of being discovered went out the window. And I haven’t looked at music the same.
But then it made me wonder…how many singers do I listen to a daily basis that “have paid their dues.” I mean….who fucked for that beat, or gave head for that deal, or licked for that production deal. Then I thought about him…who did he suck or fuck to get the heads up on production that he has. And I thought…maybe five minutes of head wouldn’t have been that bad. After all it could’ve jumpstarted my career. I could be sitting on more money than I’ve ever had in a couple of months. Then I called a friend of mine who has been producing for like 10 years and his shit is fire for real and I told him what happened and he said, “Yo, that shit happens to guys as well.” He said, “And I’m not talking about from other women, I’m talking about being propositioned from other men.” He then went on to say that he was giving music up because he’s put so much time and effort and heart into it and he can’t get a production deal to save his life. He said, “I mean, do I have to be a part of some secret cult?”
And I’m sure so many women and men have been propositioned to do the same thing…join my society, have sex with me, give me some head, jump off my crew….deal or no deal.
And since this altercation, I never looked at music the same. I no longer believe that people with pure talent are getting these production deals with talent alone. I’ve been on soundclick and myspace and I hear the talent that’s out there and there’s no way that Cassie got a deal (not saying she fucked somebody who knew somebody and she fucked them too), but there’s no way she’s got a deal and LL is without a label. There was a time when music didn’t have a face. It didn’t have a body. It only had a sound, and that sound made you who you were, not what you did to Russell Simmons’ best friend over at Def Jam.
And now when I look at E! True Hollywood story and read articles about how a singer/producer/even now actors and actresses are discovered. I now don’t believe their stories of, “I was in a club and I was approached by a producer, or I bumped into such and such at a charity event and this happened, or my cousin was an intern at such and such label and I went to have lunch with him/her and he/she introduced me to such and such and told them I was a singer and they asked me to sing something and I did and I got a 2 million dollar deal with publishing. I don’t believe them.. I now want to scream into the television, “Tell the truth, you gave up the cookies and you young man gave up the head for your deal, or you sold your soul to this society in exchange for fortune and fame. I don’t believe that hard work alone got everybody to the top. So the next time, those of you who are guilty of doing this want to get on television or in a magazine and give your advice about how a young girl or boy should handle their dreams tell them the truth….Tell them, “Just do like I did, suck him, fuck her, join them…and you will get your deal. That’s all it takes.” Cause when I look at all these talentless individuals on top of the music world, that’s exactly what I think you did to get there. You took the deal.. And yeah, you’re sitting on a couple hundred thousand, and I’m still praying that one day I can sell a song without having to sell my ass, but that’s okay, cause me along with a lot of people who decided not to deal, when we make it, we can look at ourselves in the mirror once we make it and say, “I did this through hard work, not through getting someone hard.” I'm not saying that everybody had sex to get to the top...but, I'm jus' sayin'. Be not easily broken...
I met a guy who was in close contact with a high profile record company and he was gonna put me on to one of his newly signed artists as a songwriter. So me and my cousin was negotiating the deal and things just kept coming up that left the deal in a dormant state, that is until some contract details with the artist were more clear and more detailed. In the meanwhile, I met a guy through a friend who wanted to help make sure that the songs I would be writing and possibly getting on the album were top notch. That way if the song made it we would both eat; him as a producer and me as a songwriter sharing 50/50 publishing. All of that changed the moment I was invited to his home production studio to listen to new tracks. He pulled out his dick while I was listening and singing ideas in my head to the music he was playing and said, “Everybody has to pay their dues.” I ignored him at first because I’m thinking, “this shit is not happening.” But then he put it in my face and said, “You wanna use those tracks, you gotta use your head.” I left. He then called me and I immediately sent him to voicemail and he left me a message saying, “You messed up a great opportunity. I could’ve sent your music to some other people I know who are looking for music, but since you’re not willing to do the work for it, just zero those beats I gave you.” Then as a cherry topper he said, “what one songwriter won’t do, another one will.” I was crushed.
All my dreams as a little girl of being discovered went out the window. And I haven’t looked at music the same.
But then it made me wonder…how many singers do I listen to a daily basis that “have paid their dues.” I mean….who fucked for that beat, or gave head for that deal, or licked for that production deal. Then I thought about him…who did he suck or fuck to get the heads up on production that he has. And I thought…maybe five minutes of head wouldn’t have been that bad. After all it could’ve jumpstarted my career. I could be sitting on more money than I’ve ever had in a couple of months. Then I called a friend of mine who has been producing for like 10 years and his shit is fire for real and I told him what happened and he said, “Yo, that shit happens to guys as well.” He said, “And I’m not talking about from other women, I’m talking about being propositioned from other men.” He then went on to say that he was giving music up because he’s put so much time and effort and heart into it and he can’t get a production deal to save his life. He said, “I mean, do I have to be a part of some secret cult?”
And I’m sure so many women and men have been propositioned to do the same thing…join my society, have sex with me, give me some head, jump off my crew….deal or no deal.
And since this altercation, I never looked at music the same. I no longer believe that people with pure talent are getting these production deals with talent alone. I’ve been on soundclick and myspace and I hear the talent that’s out there and there’s no way that Cassie got a deal (not saying she fucked somebody who knew somebody and she fucked them too), but there’s no way she’s got a deal and LL is without a label. There was a time when music didn’t have a face. It didn’t have a body. It only had a sound, and that sound made you who you were, not what you did to Russell Simmons’ best friend over at Def Jam.
And now when I look at E! True Hollywood story and read articles about how a singer/producer/even now actors and actresses are discovered. I now don’t believe their stories of, “I was in a club and I was approached by a producer, or I bumped into such and such at a charity event and this happened, or my cousin was an intern at such and such label and I went to have lunch with him/her and he/she introduced me to such and such and told them I was a singer and they asked me to sing something and I did and I got a 2 million dollar deal with publishing. I don’t believe them.. I now want to scream into the television, “Tell the truth, you gave up the cookies and you young man gave up the head for your deal, or you sold your soul to this society in exchange for fortune and fame. I don’t believe that hard work alone got everybody to the top. So the next time, those of you who are guilty of doing this want to get on television or in a magazine and give your advice about how a young girl or boy should handle their dreams tell them the truth….Tell them, “Just do like I did, suck him, fuck her, join them…and you will get your deal. That’s all it takes.” Cause when I look at all these talentless individuals on top of the music world, that’s exactly what I think you did to get there. You took the deal.. And yeah, you’re sitting on a couple hundred thousand, and I’m still praying that one day I can sell a song without having to sell my ass, but that’s okay, cause me along with a lot of people who decided not to deal, when we make it, we can look at ourselves in the mirror once we make it and say, “I did this through hard work, not through getting someone hard.” I'm not saying that everybody had sex to get to the top...but, I'm jus' sayin'. Be not easily broken...
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